Featured, Going Solo, Road Trips

Niagara Falls: A Solo Trip to the Honeymoon Capital

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I recently made a quick solo trip up to Niagara Falls.  That is, a really quick trip; I was there for just over twelve hours, and for seven of them I only saw the insides of my eyelids.  I’ve been wanting to visit for quite a while now, and not just to admire the falls.  You see, I enjoy being contrary.  And Niagara Falls is known (or, rather, was known) as the quintessential honeymoon destination.  Thus, it was my goal to prove that Niagara Falls could also be a wonderful solo destination.  And I’m proud to admit that…

I was wrong.

Niagara Falls is perfect for one thing and one thing only–a honeymoon.  Here’s why:

You will arrive in town, check into your hotel, and head down to the falls.  You will stand there, look at them, and snap a few photos.  You will find another friendly person to take a photo of you and your new spouse together, mostly blocking the falls but oh well, who cares.  You will turn back to the falls, look at them some more–perhaps for five minutes or so–and then turn to your partner and say ‘so–wanna go back to the room?’

*Dim the lights and cue sexy music*

In case you get bored with the actual falls, the mall attached to the casino features a falls-themed fountain (and a bunch of tacky shops).

In case you get bored with the actual falls, the mall attached to the casino features a falls-themed fountain (and a bunch of tacky shops).

I really wanted to write about what a great solo travel destination Niagara Falls could be.  After all, I’ve not yet encountered a place that is not fun to visit solo.  But I gotta say–after only one afternoon and evening at the falls, I’m thinking this might just be the place.  Because there’s really not much to do outside of your room.  And being by yourself, well, how much fun can you have in there? (Perverts of the world, please don’t answer that!)

However, just because a particular place is not for me doesn’t mean it’s not for you.  Thus, I can highly recommend Niagara Falls, Ontario as a destination if you:

Have small children.  There seem to be many family-oriented activities.  Giant theaters, arcades, indoor water parks.  Stuff like that.

Have a gambling problem.  There’s a pretty big casino.  I mean, that can be said for many places.  But still–if you like that sort of thing, you will have more fun than I did.  And you might not even notice the falls; though that would be a shame.

Enjoy chain restaurants or Brazillian steakhouses (the latter being super not fun for the solo traveler).  If there’s a chain restaurant in the world, you can find it in Niagara Falls.  Particularly if it is loud (Margaritaville, I’m looking at you).  Also, as an added bonus, they are all hideously overpriced ($13 mushroom appetizer at Macaroni Grill, I’m looking at you.)

Have more than one afternoon/evening to spend there.  Admittedly, I was only in town for a short time.  I didn’t even have time to do Maid of the Mist, which I’m rather sad about.  I’ve heard that the experience of being that close to the falls is pretty amazing.  And I’ve seen some great photos taken from the boat, though for the life of me I can’t figure out how you’d take a camera on board without getting it completely soaked.

Will I return to Niagara Falls?  Yes and no.  I’d definitely return to the general area; in fact, I’d like to do just that sometime very soon. Driving from Niagara to Toronto I passed so many signs for wineries that it caused me physical pain to not be able to stop (if you think this is hyperbole, you clearly do not fully grasp my love of wine).  And I’d love to check out Niagara-on-the-Lake.  It seems like it would be the quaint, happy, Tracy-approved alternative to my unfortunate Niagara Falls experience.

As for the town of Niagara Falls itself, I’ll likely not return.  But if I ever do, I’ll be sure to take someone with me who can entertain me back in the room.

*Dim the lights and cue sexy music*

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